Wisdom of life through throwing away (23)

Subtraction Changes Me

Overcoming panic attacks


It is hard to describe panic attacks in words. You feel extreme fear with sudden vertigo, and you feel you just might curl up and die as your head becomes burned up by all the fever coming up from your body.

 Those symptoms can happen at a moment’s notice. Anything, such as hearing the shouts from a soccer stadium, or watching a movie at the theater can set it off. And when I drive a car and stop suddenly or go through a tunnel, I can’t help my body and myself thinking that “I might die inside this car. I want to jump out and run.”  Even though in reality I don’t turn blue nor die, the worst possible scenario plays out fully in my head.

I began feeling these symptoms 10 years ago. At that time I went to the hospital because I felt too dizzy and my head ached a lot. Instead of taking it seriously, I thought it was just because I was weak from all the heavy drinking I was doing at the time. In those days panic attack syndrome was not a commonly known disease, so there were wrong diagnoses given to me, such as saying it was because of the flu or from the drinking. But as the symptoms continued, I took a complete medical checkup and it turned out to be panic attacks.

So I began taking pills, and received treatment for the panic attacks. But instead of getting better, all it did was avoid and calm down the spasm moment.  I took the medicine continuously for four to five months, but I kept being drowsy and dazed and could only manage half of my company’s work, and my social life became very difficult.

Eventually, on my family’s recommendation, I began Maum Meditation. I started throwing away my mind by looking back at my life and myself. I realized that as the head of the household I thought I had to earn a lot of money, and I was always under the pressure of the responsibility to support my family. So I began to drink a lot to overcome that pressure. That had only made the panic attacks worse.

All the emotions and thoughts, which came from specific situations, were stress itself; so I continuously threw away everything I had piled up in my mind during my life. I threw away all the fear, horror, hard memories, anxiety, and nervousness about the panic attacks. At the moment I realized that those minds didn’t originally exist, I could easily control my panic attacks better with Maum Meditation than by any other treatment. As much as I threw away the mind the symptoms became better, so I stopped taking the medicine, and seldom drank any alcohol which I had liked to do so much.

When I was managing the accounting office, I always used to treat others with hostility and interfered with them a lot. But those minds disappeared, and my facial expression changed from a dirty and fussy look to one that was much kinder and softer.  

Even though at times it seemed like the panic attacks might happen again, I could prevent them by throwing away the stress and related minds. I am so grateful to Maum Meditation, and it seems like a dream that I could be released from my mind, which became clean and able to overcome those horrible panic attacks.

I think there might be a lot of panic attacks among middle-aged, head of household men. I pray, as a person who experienced the pain and know that it is a disease of the mind, which every person who suffers from panic attacks will be able to know as soon as possible the reason for the panic attacks and be able to throw the mind away and break away from the pain.

Young Soo Ook (53) Accounting Office Manager

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