Yonhee Hong, 23, University Student
It must have been during my middle school years when our family’s life suddenly turned upside down. My father had guaranteed a loan for his friend, and the loan went bad. He lost a fortune when he had to pay off the loan. We barely escaped becoming homeless, and we had to move to a considerably smaller house. Also, my father moved away for a few years in order to make money. I was never close to my father, who did not know how to be affectionate. After this incident, I started hating him.
Occasionally my father would visit us, and my parents would often start arguing and we were all so miserable. I blamed my father for everything and I ignored him completely. It seemed that my father also blamed himself for everything. He was gradually becoming emaciated and he always looked worried and sad. But I was too busy worrying about my own prideful issues since I was quite immature and selfish. I used to be embarrassed to bring friends over to our house or to talk about our family situation. I was angry at my father, and I talked to him without respect or affection.
When I was a high school student one of my father’s relatives introduced him to Maum Meditation. After about six months of meditation he looked definitely happier. And he started doing housekeeping chores, and paid great attention to taking care of us. He did not say much; however, his quiet and relaxed demeanor brought stability to all of us.
Since then we have all tried Maum Meditation. All of us had been very stressed and frustrated. My mother had to endure tremendous suffering, watching my father going through so many problems so suddenly. My older sister also suffered, feeling a heavy burden on her to earn the bread. After doing the meditation for a while, we all felt the changes within us. The walls between us started to crumble and I began to see more clearly what my father had gone through during those tough times.
It must have been extremely painful and frustrating to carry the guilt and financial burden all by himself. He must have tried to bear the difficulties by himself lest he inadvertently hurt us even more. I deeply regretted my conduct and attitude towards him. And I cried a lot because instead of supporting him, I had only piled more stress on him by acting like an immature, selfish, spoiled brat. And I felt so ashamed that I had never listened to him because I was embarrassed by his situation at that time.
At present my father is a taxi driver. In spite of his back problems he works for 24 hours, from 6am to 6am the next morning. He works constantly for us. Even when he stops by home to take his meals, he jokes around and helps out with the dishwashing, cleaning the floors, and other chores, all without showing any sign of exhaustion. I realize now how great my father is. My mother is amazed at his determination. She said "Your father, who used to work only in the office, would have never thought of taking such a physically demanding job if he had not done the meditation."
My father accepts and supports all my endeavors saying, "Yes, that’s good." I respect him a lot and I’m very grateful to him.
I said, "Father, our family is truly blessed because we came across Maum Meditation. Right?" Thank you dad, for always working so hard for us and showing us your smiles, not frowns. Let us continue living happily like this. I love you.